Umm ok this always takes me ages to type, ill put it in few words.
My mum died of lung cancer when i was 15 so me and my sisters just lived with my dad, then my dad moved in this woman (rachel) and got her pregnant, i never got along with my stepmum, i hated her from the first second she walked into my life, she moved my mums stuff out the bedroom, put it all in bin bags and shoved it all up into the attic, that pissed me off, so i decided to piss her off, i ruined her towels with hair dye, i hoovered up her jewellry, i put mayonnaise in her shoes, and i sprinkled parmasan cheese into the washing machine when her clothes were in there, just everything, yes it was probably immature but it was a better way for me to deal with my anger than to take it out on myself.
They got married, i didnt go to the wedding (i had fell out big time with dad and rachel so was staying with my boyfriend at the time), they didnt care i didnt go, didnt call me up and ask me to change my mind, niamh was born in the february of 2012, so shes my (half) little sister, i moved back in and helped with the baby (i tried to be mad but honestly niamh is the cutest thing you could imagine), so yeah, i was at school doing my GCSEs and I was also sick so i was doing school tuesdays and thursdays and getting the rest of work sent home to me. then i failed my exams completely that summer and could get back into school. we moved up north (i used to live in london) in the May and i didnt know anyone here so i was pissed off about that like, but i got a volunteering job at my local primary school where i gave one on one help with an autistic six year old 5 days a week, i proper loved that job like you have no idea how much i loved it, i was enrolled to start a college course in the january (2013) so i just was doing the volunteering till then.
My dad passed away last October (it was actually a year ago this weekend), was no expecting it, he wasnt sick, nothing out of the ordinary, i just got a call telling me to go to the hospital because he was so sick, i didnt know what was wrong, my grandma told me he had liquid on the brain or some shit like that, then the doctors told us he was brain dead and my grandma made the decision to turn off life support.
I guess I was pretty lost from then onwards, i went from living with my dad and sisters, having a volunteering job i loved, having everything i needed, to literally having it all taken away from me in a day. My older sister Maddi was in her first year of uni, so she went back up to newcastle to get away from everything, my twin sister milly was still down at boarding school in surrey and she had to go back down there, rachel (my stepmum) went awol with my sister niamh, she took off without telling anyone, so i was left at home on my own with grace (my other sister) and i didnt really know what to do. i called my grandma and told her i needed her to take care of grace because i couldnt (i was 16 then and too immature at the time to deal with a 6 year old as well as myself).
My grandma took Grace in and it was fine, then my dads solicitor called us in to tell us the arrangements that were in place, my dad had a half-assed will, basically everything went to my stepmum, my dad assumed she would stick around and try and be there for us. but she moved up north to derby (over an hour away from me) with niamh, and took everything in the house (including MY cat). At first I thought she needed time to herself, her parents lived up there and i was understanding, grief affects people in different ways, i gave her the benefit of the doubt. But weeks passed and she didnt come back, she then called social services and told them my grandma wasnt fit to look after my sister grace because she was already looking after my grandad (he had heart problems and early alzheimers).
Social services took my sister into care and there was a pending investigation into my grandma and grandad, grace went to live with an emergency family for a month. After the month they put her with a more long term foster family (where she is now), and i guess those first few months i didnt help the situation, i blew all my savings by going out with friends, buying clothes and makeup, every piece of unneeded crap you could possibly imagine, i guess i was trying to fill a whole with material shit and trying to make myself feel better, that didnt work. Then I got a job (same place i work at now), and had to quit my volunteering job and put my plans for the college course on hold.
then 3 months after my dad died, my grandma started being rally sneaky, with holding details about my dads ‘illness’ from us, so Maddi came down and we had a weekend together as a family and basically asked for the truth. My dad attempted suicide in his office at work it didnt work as such, he was still alive but it caused his brain to be starved of oxygen which is why he was taken into A&E at hospital, this then caused massive organ failure and his heart stopped completely, he was already brain dead by the time i was stood by his bed and it was easier for my grandma to lie and say it was caused naturally. i was pissed, like so angry, i still am so angry everytime i think about it, honestly, as much as some people will disagree with this, to me it was the most selfish thing he could have ever done, i would have rather he upped and left, ditched us all to start a new life, anything other than causing the grief to everyone it affected. i dont like admitting it, i dont like discussing it, to me, suicide is not an option, should never be an option, and more needs to be done to help people who feel suicidal.
After that i turned all the negative energy into something good, it gave me the power and motivation to work towards something, i picked working towards getting my sister out of foster care, she should never have been there in the first place, my stepmum should have been taking care of her, my grandma was perfectly fine to as well, so thats whats im doing now, working hard at my job on weekdays, and at the weekends i do waitressing, some evenings i do babysitting, my wages from my main job gets spent straight away on rent, anything left over from waitressing and babysitting goes towards my fuel costs and household bills, then i got the ads in april i think it was, and all the ad money goes straight into a seperate savings account saving up for when i (hopefully) get grace back into my care, and some of the money is spent on things like getting her room sorted out, tickets to go down and see her, and currently im saving up for a new boiler for my house, all tings social services told me to do before she could stay here.
I have to go to court on 5th february next year, ill be 18 by then, and hopefully the judge will grant me full custody of grace. my house has been inspected twice by social services and they oth wrote good reponds recommending that grace comes back here. In court they will hear from me, Graces case worker, her social worker, her foster family and my grandma, so right now all its left down to is whether i will be able to afford it or not.
So yah, it really bugs me when people send me hate about ads and that because im sure if anyone else was given the chance to do everything they could to get a member of their family back, they would do it, and my ads dont cost my followers any money so i dont know why people complain about them but oh well. and that is it basically xxxx
Anonymous: can you explain EVERYTHING about your family, the ads etc, ive read stuff but i dont understand